#30WriteNow Day2~ I Cram to Understand...

Initiated by Bassey Ikpi, Here is my attempt to write for 30 days straight.  Wish me luck, I'll need it

Recently, my days have been frustrating...


I have some sort of brain difference (either ADHD or something else)  all my life. I have the attention span of a gnat in a wind storm, I'm hypersensitive and I rarely want to be near people.  But in my defense, have you met people? That last one is completely justified...


I am "a woman of a certain age" now. I had hoped that I was able to navigate (by that, I mean, Hustle) through alright. However, my old tricks aren't working as they used to and I am finding it harder to get through my day without feeling frustrated or defeated in some way. It makes me literally tired but because of the insomnia, I rarely rest.

Many of you know that I have a child on the Autism Spectrum. The way I do things (or barely do things) is affecting him so I know that I really need assistance or I will fail him (Side Note: Funny how having kids will make you take care of your self WAY better than you would have when you had no one to care for). I have gone for the assessment and I will find out (hopefully) and assessment or diagnosis.

I have not gotten any type of formal diagnosis previously because of my own stubbornness and pride. After a certain age, you figure you have it all worked out. but of course, I don't. My work and home life struggles and my personal life is ridiculously complicated in that the way I select folks to be around is sort of like a random science that only I can understand. I have been the source of frustration among my peers and mostly my family all of my life.  I am realizing that my running around is only hindering me getting anything done (or at east, feeling accomplished).

Its representative of Women generally and Black women specifically (because, I'm all Black and stuff). We work so hard for others, we fail to take care of ourselves. In the Black Community (either by choice or circumstance), the Black woman is depended on for so much the stats about Black women and Stress are not surprising.

I am realizing that I have to get it together before I drive myself and the folks I love around me into the ground.

M

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